Uptown Rantz

Don't Wanna Be No Uptown Fool

It Doesn’t Matter

“So you don’t feel anything about Amanda’s upcoming wedding?” The question comes as a surprise as I sit on the couch with my laptop, alternating my eyes between the monitor and the TV. Melissa is in the kitchen on the other side of the wall. Except for the wedding question, she’s been quiet for the last 10 minutes while making herself an omelet for dinner.

“I mean, it was your most recent long-term relationship before we met.” She washes the dishes right after she dirties them. She had to shout the last question over the running hot water.

The freelance blogging is still bringing in a little over a grand a month. It’s decent cash for writing 26 blog posts per week while sitting on my IKEA couch listening to/watching the Music Choice Alternative Channel. It reminds me of watching VH1’s Pop-Up Video in the 1990’s. Musical tidbits about the group or artist flash in plain text as the song plays. It’s hard not to take in the arguably useful alterna-rock information as I work.

Kim (from Matt and Kim) attended Penn State for one year on a track scholarship.

The Lemonheads were a Boston Trio that formed in the mid-80’s.

“I mean, it’s got to be a little weird that she’s going to marry the guy she began dating right after you.” Melissa is saying, “I mean,” before each question. She never does that, so I don’t know why she’s doing that now. It’s how Angela, Ricky and Brian Krakow spoke in My So Called Life episodes.

The Killers worked with a gospel choir for two songs on Hot Fuss.

At times, the freelance blog work can be mundane, but it’s been a god-send in the loneliest and most depressed periods of the past year. The work kept me on a deadline and forced me to write when there were times I didn’t think I could.

Adam Ant’s mother used to clean Paul McCartney’s house.

“I mean, when my ex got engaged, he didn’t even have the balls to tell me when I ran into him. I found out from a mutual friend’s Facebook wall.” I ran into Amanda and saw the so-so engagement ring on her short, baby carrot-shaped finger. If it weren’t for the ring, I doubt she would’ve told me either.

The Strokes made their debut at The Spiral in New York City.

“I mean, you two dated for so long that marriage had to come-up a few times, right?” I decide that the, “I means,” are something Melissa probably does when she’s nervous. She’s afraid of what my answers might be. We’ve been together only a short time now, so the nervous speech pattern is a new discovery for me. And the question makes me realize that she didn’t read the entry below even though she said she did.

The Ting Tings took their name from Katie White’s Chinese co-worker.

“HEY! Are you going to answer even one of my questions?” I figured she would just think that I fell asleep. I guess the rapid tapping of my HP keyboard is louder than I thought.

Jack Johnson formed Brushfire Records in 2002.

“It feels like when an NCAA basketball team makes a decent and unexpected run to the Sweet 16 in March. But the following year, an NCAA investigation reveals that the team violated multiple NCAA rules. As part of the team’s punishment, the previous season’s achievement is wiped from the record books as if it never happened. The team still remembers its accomplishment, but it’s now insignificant.” Melissa sits next to me on the IKEA.

Inspiral Carpet’s first album was Planecrash, released in 1988.

“That’s how I feel about her engagement. That it erases a period of my past that I still remember, but it’s insignificant now. It doesn’t matter.”

Sleigh Bells’ Derek Miller was a founding member of Florida metalcore band Poison the Well.


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