Uptown Rantz

Don't Wanna Be No Uptown Fool

Exit the Building Immediately

I wonder if it’s appropriate to be drinking this much at a children’s birthday party?  I wonder if anyone is counting the number of empties that I’ve scattered throughout the back yard and kitchen?  It’s a Saturday afternoon that I’m treating like a Friday night, and for no other reason than I have nothing to do when I get home.  For the parents here, this is a stop on an agenda.  For me, this is it for today.  The parents were told to bring their kids and the single people were told to bring themselves.  If this house weren’t walking distance from mine I’d still be sleeping.

The weather isn’t even that cool, but some are wearing the North Face that they’ve been eager to debut for weeks…anxiously waiting for the temperature to dip below 70 degrees.  Why the hell is North Face treated like Haute Couture around here? Minnesotans wear it like Parisians wear Christian Lacroix and Givenchy.

I walk inside and some husbands are watching college football, but UT doesn’t play until tonight so I have no interest.  I make my way to the bathroom not because I have to piss, but it’s a place to leave one more empty Miller bottle before I grab another from the fridge.  All the kids are in the living room jumping around to The Knack’s My Sharona. I want to tell them to shout out, “My scro-tum,” in the chorus but they’ll figure that out for themselves in college like I did.

I’m at the home of Jennifer and Scott.  Jennifer spent about one year as a Westlaw contractor, and to say her tenure came to an abrupt end is putting it mildly.  She returned from lunch on a Friday afternoon and was unable to log-in to the testing platform.  Her e-mails to the project lead went un-returned.  Jennifer’s phone rang and it was the woman at the temp agency who placed her at WL.  Temp lady told Jennifer that she just received a call from some WL middle-manager and that because work on the project was slowing down, she had to inform Jennifer that her time as a contractor had ended.  She then told Jennifer to hang-up and immediately exit the building.  This all happened in the span of about 15 minutes.  One of the reasons contractors had zero vested interest in product quality.

I used to think it was odd that I kept in touch with former fellow WL contractors, but I reached a conclusion about it.  We’re like survivors of a plane crash…we have a shared bond over an experience we never anticipated and would rather forget.  My blog is the little black box.

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One thought on “Exit the Building Immediately

  1. B'dwanna on said:

    Hey, Love the way you write. Keep up the stuff about WL. Soon all employees will be from India anyhow. The American dream.

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