Uptown Rantz

Don't Wanna Be No Uptown Fool

A South Mpls Waitress and Husker Du

Went to the bar tonight for what I said would be only a couple.  Stayed ’til after close and at 3:07am I was home listening to Husker Du sing about a girl walking down a sunny street to the library and checking out the latest books about outer-space.

But talking to Melissa at the bar, I realized that she was born with that beauty.  Her bad days are probably kept to a minimum because strangers are always nice to her for her sculpted cheek bones, strong jawline, blue eyes and shampoo-commercial hair.  If Meaghan Fox and Angelina Jolie were sisters and they had a little sister, it would be Melissa. There’s no such thing as bad lighting for her – not even airplane bathroom lighting.  I doubt she’s ever been afraid to look head-on into a mirror. She’ll always be greeted with a smile and will always make married men briefly forget about their wives.

But for now, my liver is drowning and begging for air…caught in a riptide of Heineken and Stoli.


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