Uptown Rantz

Don't Wanna Be No Uptown Fool

Half-Naked Interview with Thomson Reuters

I readied myself for the phone interview like most normal people would…sitting at my kitchen table in my underwear.  All I could focus on during the inquisition was the empty Heineken tall boy can sitting on the table’s corner.  I had just finished it five hours prior and it looked so green, shiny and refreshing.  Nothing refreshing about the nausea I was experiencing and I was hoping it wasn’t obvious that I’m not normally up at that hour of the morning.

“You really do have the writing experience,” said what’s-her-name when I talked about my past freelancing gigs.  She ended the interview with, “I think you have some qualities that could suit the position well.”  The start date isn’t until late August or early September.  I wanted to tell her that should give me plenty of time to continue my drinking and bar crawling, and the health insurance would really come in handy for my impending trip to rehab.  So, we’ll see within a week if I get an in-person interview.

She was vague when I asked about salary. Although I’ve heard from friends working there that it’s around $40k/year plus benefits plus selling your soul to a Fortune 500 company.  And considering my checking account balance, that’s about the price my soul is going for right now.


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